I've been a shy, submissive, closeted, crossdressing sissy, since I was 12, keeping it my darkest secret. I was always led to believe that it was wrong, and thought the only per who does it. There was times when I just had to do it, finding it so erotic and so sexual when I did. I'd shake... slowly dressing up, watching myself in a mirror as an amazing transformation took place. Then I'd stop dressing for awhile feeling the "guilt" thinking it was my last time, only to start back up again. Wish I had back all the clothes I've "purged" in my lifetime! I guess it was the look and feel of nylon clad legs that always started me back dressing again. Nowadays I just mostly "partial dress". Wearing pantyhose or thigh hi's and heels, with maybe a silky slip or a satin nightie with matching panties. It always feels so comfortable when lounging around the house, and so erotic when sleeping. I have had only three realtime meeting ever,and truly loved it! But still have been "torn" between sharing my passion with a new trusting friend or just keeping it to myself like I have for years. I do feel "a void" like something is "incomplete" or "missing" but still find myself "reluctant" when someone offers to meet me. I can only hope they understand and know that someday I will lose my fears and accept who I really am and can show them in per my true "loving self". Keenie